Safety Planning Toolkit

Abuse can take many forms — physical, emotional, psychological, sexual, legal, and financial. It is about control, not anger or conflict.
If you are feeling unsafe in your relationship, a safety plan can help you protect yourself and your children, prepare for emergencies, and take back control over your life.

This toolkit draws from The Men Leaving Violence Safety Planning Toolkit (2024), created by The Men’s Centre and funded by Island Health and the Province of British Columbia.

Download: 

Men Leaving Violence Safety Planning Toolkit  for offline reference.

Understanding Abuse

Abuse is any behaviour that causes harm or fear, and it can happen in any relationship — regardless of age, culture, or gender.
For men, abuse often includes a mix of emotional, verbal, and psychological control that may go unnoticed or unacknowledged for years.

Types of abuse include:

Physical abuse – hitting, pushing, kicking, choking, or using weapons or objects to cause harm.
Emotional abuse – humiliation, insults, threats, intimidation, and constant criticism.
Coercive control – isolating you from friends and family, controlling your money, monitoring your movements, or threatening to take away your children.
Sexual abuse – any unwanted sexual contact, pressure, or coercion.
Legal or financial abuse – making false police reports, threatening custody actions, controlling access to funds, or damaging credit.

If you are unsure whether what you’re experiencing is abuse, contact VictimLink BC at 1-800-563-0808 for confidential support 24 hours a day.

Building a Safety Plan

A safety plan is a personalized strategy that outlines what to do before, during, and after a violent or unsafe incident.
Even if you’re not ready to leave, having a plan can give you options and peace of mind.

Personal Safety Tips:

1. Identify a safe place in your home where there are no weapons and at least one exit.

2. Keep emergency numbers in your phone under an alias name if needed.

3. Have a bag ready with essentials: ID, phone charger, keys, medication, clothes, cash, and important documents.

4. Store copies of important paperwork (birth certificates, legal documents, court orders) in a safe place outside your home.

5. Let a trusted person know about your situation and arrange a code word for emergencies.

6. Avoid confrontation with your partner if possible. Your goal is safety, not proving a point.

7. Use technology safely — clear your browser history, use private browsing, and log out of shared accounts.

If you are in immediate danger, call 911.

Protecting Children

Children exposed to violence experience significant emotional harm, even if they do not witness the abuse directly.
Create a safety plan that includes your children and helps them know what to do in emergencies.

• Teach your children how to call 911 and what to say.

• Show them safe rooms in the house where they can go when violence starts.

• Set a code word they can use when they need to leave or call for help.

• Tell them it is never their fault and that their job is to stay safe, not to protect you.

If your partner is using your children to control or threaten you, you can get advice through the Crime Victim Assistance Program (CVAP) or contact Legal Aid BC for legal support.

Legal and Financial Safety

You have rights and options.
In British Columbia, men who experience family violence are entitled to the same legal protections and supports as anyone else.

Legal Protections:

• You can apply for a Protection Order to prevent contact or harassment. Learn more through Legal Aid BC.

• Report all incidents of violence to police and request a copy of the report for documentation.

• Keep a journal of incidents, including dates, times, and any witnesses.

Financial Safety:

• Open a separate bank account that your partner cannot access.

• Change online banking passwords and disable shared devices.

• If you’ve experienced financial loss due to abuse, contact Access Pro Bono or CVAP to explore compensation options.

• If you are on disability or income assistance, the Ministry of Social Development and Poverty Reduction can offer emergency housing or relocation support.

Helpful Resources in British Columbia

Emergency and Crisis Services

• VictimLink BC – 1-800-563-0808

• 9-8-8 Suicide & Crisis Helpline – call or text 988

• Vancouver Island Crisis Line – 1-888-494-3888

• 310 Mental Health Support – call 310-6789 (no area code)

• BC 211 Community Services – 24/7 information and referral

Counselling and Advocacy

• The Men’s Centre (Nanaimo) – 250-716-1551

• Men’s Therapy Centre (Victoria) – 1-866-793-6367

• MxN Men’s Therapy Network – 778-676-2636

• Canadian Centre for Men & Families – Vancouver office

• BC Society for Male Survivors of Sexual Abuse – 1-888-682-6482

Indigenous and Cultural Supports

• Tillicum Lelum Aboriginal Friendship Centre – 250-753-6578

• DUDES Club – Indigenous men’s wellness network

• First Nations Health Authority – culturally safe health services and support lines

Legal and Financial Assistance

• Legal Aid BC

• Access Pro Bono

• People’s Law School

• Justice Access Centres

• Crime Victim Assistance Program (CVAP)

Download the Toolkit

You can access the full Men Leaving Violence Safety Planning Toolkit as a free PDF, which includes detailed checklists, safety templates, and resource lists.

Men Leaving Violence Safety Planning Toolkit

(Produced by The Men’s Centre, authored by Mark Busby, funded by Island Health and the Province of BC.)

If you share your computer or phone with someone else, save the file under a neutral name such as “notes.pdf” or “schedule.pdf” to protect your privacy.